My fondest childhood summer memories center around our annual family road trips. The most memorable moments were often not the sights we set out to see but the debacles we encountered along the way, most notably our stay at the Nelson Motel on a road trip to Toronto.
In a time before internet, GPS, and cell phone, every detail of our trips had to be planned in advance. My father spent countless hours with his travel guides, and when he found this cozy motel recommended along our way, he booked a night which would become a part of family folklore. The accommodations were abysmal. Yes, his guide correctly observed that every room had a view of the pool, but it failed to mention how disgusting the pool would look- had it ever been cleaned? Though the legends have surely evolved in the almost two decades which have passed since that fateful night (my brother even wrote a jingle) the Nelson Motel surely goes down as one of the worst places we have ever stayed.
But the Nelson Motel is a five star resort compared to the accommodations mentioned in our Parsha (23:8):
לֹא־תְתַעֵ֣ב מִצְרִ֔י כִּי־גֵ֖ר הָיִ֥יתָ בְאַרְצֽוֹ׃
You shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land.
Rashi explains:
מַה טַּעַם? שֶׁהָיוּ לָכֶם אַכְסַנְיָא בִּשְׁעַת הַדְּחָק.
Because they were your hosts in time of need (during Joseph’s reign when the neighbouring countries suffered from famine)
It is true that the Egyptians took in our forefathers, the children of Yaakov, during the years of famine. But are we really expected to show them gratitude? They subsequently enslaved us with body breaking work for over a century and threw our children into the river! Does the Torah truly expect us to be grateful for this stay?
We can find an answer to this question in an unlikely source, Tosfot in Niddah 61b.
The gemara there discusses a detail of the laws of shatnez, the prohibition of wearing wool and linen discussed in our parsha. More often than not, contemporaryshatnez checkers can remove a strand of linen found in a wool suit. But the gemara discusses a case where the linen strand is detected but subsequently lost. The suit surely contains shatnez which cannot be removed. The gemara rules that such a suit can no longer be worn and discusses the permissibly of selling it to a non-Jew or using it as a burial shroud.
Tosfot there raises a strong question. Throughout halacha, we find a principle of bitul, of nullification. If a non-kosher item falls into one’s food, it is nullified at a ration of 60:1. The ration fluctuates in different areas of halacha, but one would imagine that a strand of linen should be batel to the thousands of wool threads in a suit! Why, asks Tosfot, does the gemara not permit the suit to be worn by a Jew based on this principle!
Tosfos provides an important answer that those who study the laws of bitul may be familiar with:
וי”ל דלא שייך בטול ברוב אלא כשהאיסור מעורב בהיתר אבל כלאים ששניהם היתר ונאסרין על ידי תערובות כך אסור המרובה כמו המועט
One can only discuss nullification when a prohibited item is dispersed in a permitted item. But the shatnez prohibition, where both items [wool and linen] are permitted, the combination is forbidden no matter how minute the presence of the item may be.
Bitul, explains Tosfos, only functions when a permitted item overwhelms a prohibited item. When both items are permitted, such as in the case of wool and linen, there is no clash and therefore no bitul. A permitted item cannot nullify another permitted item; the principle of bitul only works in the presence of the forbidden. Bitul nullifies the negative, not a neutral or positive item.
Perhaps this explains the gratitude to our ancient Egyptian hosts. Yes, our relationship to ancient Egypt was overwhelming negative.
But a good deed cannot be nullified.
No matter how poorly they treated us, the Torah here reminds us that we do not nullify their good deeds because of their subsequent harsh acts.
This idea runs counter to human nature: it is hard to forget our Nelson Motel experiences. But as we proceed through the month of Elul, a month not only of repentance but hopefully of forgiveness, let us consider this idea. Too often we hear of friendships and even families torn apart by a negative act. Let us learn the lesson of the appreciation towards the Egyptians and apply the laws of bitul appropriately, allowing the good that others have done for us to drown out their mistakes and to never forget a positive act done for us.
(Much of this idea is based on a dvar torah shared with me by Rabbi Dubbin Hanon quoting Rav Pam.)
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