Kindness at All Costs

The parsha begins with Avraham’s tremendous display of kindness, as he overcomes physical discomfort to warmly welcome three strangers and provide them with an extravagant feast.  As the parsha progresses, we find Lot display similar kindness towards his guests.  In a community which seriously discouraged acts of kindness, Lot went ahead and invited guests to his home, risking his life to tend to their needs.  As the inhabitants of Sedom swarm around Lot’s home, he heroically refuses to hand his guests over to the Sodomites.  In context of his tremendous chessed, Lot’s next decision seems shocking: he offers to give his two daughters over to the angry mob.

How could a man who welcomes his guests so warmly, who offers them safety and hospitality, who seems to have picked up so much of the righteousness of Avraham, suddenly make such a twisted error and display such a despicable value system, where he is willing to betray his own family?

I heard in the name of Rav Mayer Twersky that Lot’s decision here came from a perversion of chessed.  Avraham lived a life of chessed, and Lot’s desire to emulate Avraham’s hachnasat orchim was so strong that he clung to this value at all costs.  Lot could not fathom giving up on his last string of connection to Avraham, to the point that he would sacrifice whatever he needed to help his guests.

My father often quotes Steven Covey saying “the main thing is to make the main thing the main thing.”  Lot’s error here was isolating one aspect of Avraham’s character and making that “the main thing”.   Avraham wasn’t simply a person obsessed with taking care of guests; he was a balanced person fully committed to a life of serving G-d, and his uncompromising pursuit of chessed was a manifestation of that commitment.  While it can be beneficial for a person to put extra vigor into certain commandments, the moment a person loses sight of the big picture, picking and choosing which mitzvot are important to himself or herself, one has the potential to make lapses in judgment.  We should all strive to fulfill all of the mitzvot and maintain a balanced life in serving Hashem.