While speaking to one of my colleagues about the Pre-Neilah drasha, he commented that people are tired of hearing that \u201cthe gates are closing.\u201d There are so many metaphors, stories, and methods that rabbis across the globe use to illustrate and bring home the powerful reality that this is our final chance for teshuva before our verdicts are sealed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I pondered the possibility of us being bored of a predictable Neilah sermon, it hit me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you think G-d feels?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are about to recite shmone esray for the fifth time on Yom Kippur: Maariv, Shacharit, Mussaf, Mincha, and now Neilah. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We will soon beat our chests and say vidui for the ninth and tenth time this Yom Kippur. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If we grow tired of hearing the same thing again and again, don\u2019t you think G-d does too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does he really want to hear me say another vidui and confess the same sins again and again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The truth is that the vidui of the Neilah service is something different. It\u2019s not the same \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d that we\u2019ve said eight times; Neilah has a unique final appeal. I encourage you to pay close attention to the vidui at the end of your silent shmone esray and you will notice the difference: two paragraphs- \u201catta notein\u201d and \u201catta hivdalta\u201d- which are only recited at the Neilah service. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would like to highlight one phrase in this paragraph which I think represents what we should seek to accomplish during Neilah. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u05dc\u05de\u05e2\u05df \u05e0\u05d7\u05d3\u05dc \u05de\u05e2\u05e9\u05e7 \u05d9\u05d3\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n So that we should withdraw the oshek of our hands<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n What is \u201coshek\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oshek is a prohibition similar to stealing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gneiva and gzeila, the more familiar Hebrew words for theft, refers to a situation where a person actively grabs another person\u2019s item.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oshek is different. Oshek is not to take money; oshek is to withhold money. When one owes payment for services and chooses not pay, that is oshek. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u05dc\u05de\u05e2\u05df \u05e0\u05d7\u05d3\u05dc \u05de\u05e2\u05e9\u05e7 \u05d9\u05d3\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n So that we should withdraw the oshek of our hands<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why at Neilah do we allude to this category of oshek?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, if you owe someone money, you should resolve now to pay him or her. But the sin of oshek represents something more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Oshek is the sin of holding back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What have we held back this year?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When we repent, we generally reflect on our surface level sins. We did this wrong, and we did that wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Oshek is the sin of holding back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n How many opportunities did we have to do good that we held back? <\/p>\n\n\n\n How many times did I see someone on the subway who could use a seat more than me that I did not stand up? <\/p>\n\n\n\n How many times did I see a friend or even a stranger that I could help, but I withheld because I was too busy? <\/p>\n\n\n\n How many times did we know of someone who could use a friendly phone call, or even a \u201chello\u201d or a \u201cgood Shabbos,\u201d but we held back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are we holding back right now? <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u05dc\u05de\u05e2\u05df \u05e0\u05d7\u05d3\u05dc \u05de\u05e2\u05e9\u05e7 \u05d9\u05d3\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n At Neilah we withdraw the oshek of our hands. We reconsider the things that we\u2019ve held back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At neilah, we consider the costs of our inaction, and we commit ourselves to not hold back anymore. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I wish you all a ktiva vchatima tova, and may we all find the willpower this Neilah to not just recite another set of vidui, but to dig deep within ourselves. To contemplate what we may have held back this past year, what are holding back right now, and commit ourselves to a year and a life of jumping at opportunities to do good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n