One of the often overlooked components of giving first-rate Chanukah gifts is how we choose to wrap them. That being said, gift wrapping has boomed into a major industry, with the global gift wrapping products market size valued at over 15.1 billion dollars in 2018! So researchers set out to determine the effect of gift wrapping on the gift receiver’s gratitude, and they wrote up their results in the Journal of Consumer Psychology.
Unsurprisingly, our tradition seems to be aware of the value of how something is wrapped. The Gemara in Shavuos 31a demonstrates this sensitivity in the context of Jewish court cases:
The Gemara relates that two litigants came before Rava bar Rav Huna who began the hearing with a strange request:
הוו אתו לקמיה דרבא בר רב הונא אמר להו שלופו פוזמוקייכו וחותו לדינא
When individuals would come before Rava bar Rav Huna for judgment he would say to them: Remove your fine shoes [puzmukaikhu] and descend for judgment.
Rava bar Rav Huna understood that a finely dressed litigant, like a nicely wrapped product, would affect a judge’s impartiality.
So how much does wrapping paper affect a gift’s recipient? Researchers were shocked to find in their study that gifts wrapped sloppily were higher rated than the exact same gift wrapped nicely with a beautiful bow on top! They realized that wrapping a gift nicely has a counter-intuitive affect: it creates high expectations, which are often not met. When a person receives a git wrapped poorly, the expectations are low, and when the gift meets or even exceed the expectations, he or she is satisfied. (Feel free to utilize this tidbit as you wrap your Chanukah gifts this year, but don’t blame me if it doesn’t go over well…)
The gemara in Shabbos 10a explains that this was the mistake of Yaakov Avinu in our parsha:
ואמר רבא בר מחסיא אמר רב חמא בר גוריא אמר רב לעולם אל ישנה אדם בנו בין הבנים שבשביל משקל שני סלעים מילת שנתן יעקב ליוסף יותר משאר בניו נתקנאו בו אחיו ונתגלגל הדבר וירדו אבותינו למצרים:
And Rava bar Meḥasseya said that Rav Ḥama bar Gurya said that Rav said: A person should never distinguish one of his sons from among the other sons by giving him preferential treatment. As, due to the weight of two sela of fine wool [meilat] that Jacob gave to Joseph, beyond what he gave the rest of his sons, in making him the striped coat, his brothers became jealous of him and the matter unfolded and our forefathers descended to Egypt.
The preferential treatment showed to Yosef, the way that Yaakov wrapped him, created a sense of jealousy among the brothers.
The gemara’s explicit lesson is surely an important one for those of us blessed with children, but in all areas of life, we should be mindful of how things are wrapped and presented. When we make decisions in life based on external glitz and glamour, we will find ourselves disappointed by what we find inside.
During this time of year, we drive and walk through the streets and see beautifully decorated houses, bright lights, and other eye catching gimmicks. When I walk my children into our apartment building, they walk right past the dinky electric menorah and make a bee line for the tall tree adorned with ornaments, toys, and presents. Let’s remind ourselves this Chanukah, as we light our simple candles, that in a world of glamour and one where we are inundated with Christmas messaging, it’s our simple candles which provide a true light. One that doesn’t simply provide an external glow, but represents a holiday and a religion filled with meaning at every level when we choose to unwrap it.
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